Lately

I gone for a holiday at all this year. It has been work work work. Due to my project. When my project ended in Oct, I wanted to take a break. During MATA fair, my friend and I went to buy those ground packages. Planned for a long awaited trip to BKK.

Then... bad news had to prod along. My TL, has been in this other proj for while since last year. He travelled to Canada and USA for this proj. Suddenly when its about to come to implementation time, he is passing the bug to someone else. Guess who is the lucky soul - ME!!!!
And the worse thing is, they have a workshop in US next month. But i can't go!!!! WHY? coz it clashes with my vacation.

Yeah some might say just cancel your trip. But have you to understand, its just no me involved in this vacation. My friend will be damn pissed. Coz she was looking forward to this also. So I stand firm in going for my vacation regardless. Sometimes when you give in too much to the co, it becomes more detrimental to you rather than otherwise.

So its my luck. don't get to go but have to work on the project. When will my luck get better.
anyways.. my visa has expired!!! hehehe so if i get to go...(if they change the dates!!!, pray!!!and hope they do), then I can get new visa on the expense of the co.. MUAHAHAHHAHAA

Lets see how it goes.

Oh yeah.. I have spent my Award money!!!! :P The secretary was complaining how I was the last one still who has not submitted it for claim. Well next is my dead line.. doing it first thing in the morning. :P (will take photos of the staff.... and post it)

P/S On another topic, I have been trying real hard to stay positive. Glad to say it has brought some good feeling within me. Eventho' i still go through bouts of sadness once a while.

Things that you said you would but never gotten to do it...

You know what i meann rite? Year after year that new year resolution, that month resolution, etc etc. hehehe.

But u end up not doing nothing about it.

Aiii. sad to say I have some task pending. I know i should do it more regularly but somehow the lazy bone got better of me.

I need to lose weight. And I did embark on that. Then half way off, it sizzled off.. hehehe....
I need to start it again. I met up with ringgit yesterday, and he commented i put on weight. :(

Aiyoooo.. dunno what to do.
Its the age believe me. i don't eat much... but yet.. its boom boom up the scale.

List of things i should get going on
1) Lose weight - ideal would be 50KG
2) repaint the apt.
3) save money to furnish the other room with bed and a cupboard.
4) GET ME A HUSBAND!!!! :P

Ok better not have too many!!!!

The story of the Raven

The Story of about ravens. Or as most of us here would call it the crow.
as we all know, all those spooky, evil - devilish shows always have the raven in it. Raven the sign of ill omen.
Yesterday I went to watch the movie Seekers and as usual when there is a story about darkness vs light... good vs evil, ravens appears throughout the movie. On a side note, I do not recommend watching this show... not worth your money lah.

Anyways... when watching the show, it triggered some memory, something which happened to me about 1 month or so ago.

Here goes... MG's encounter with the Raven.
One Sat morning, I decided to follow my sister to this mall... there are some shops close by to the mall where my sis takes her daughter for music lessons. I had wanted to get something from the mall so I decided it would be ideal for me to just get a ride with and then wait till the music class ends and I shall get her to pick me up.

around 1.30pm, I left the mall and waited as instructed at this side of the road near the cross road... As i was standing reading the JJ's mag, i felt something like flew pass my head - almost touching my hair - maybe it did i wasn't sure. Then i turn and i saw this crow behind me.. perched on a bill board.

I moved a little to my left.. - moving down the road.. and finally settling infront of a TNB power box. suddenly the very same crow flew infront of me and stared at me right in the eye. I had an uneasy feeling and my heart started to beat really fast. I felt something wasn't right. It was like watching me and waiting to attack me. I quickly reached in to my tshirt and pulled out my crucifix and within seconds , the crow flew away right to the other far end corner of the road - on my right.

Phew....
So what do you take of this.????

When I spoke to my mom about this, she told me that maybe "IT" sensed something good about me... so its more like good vs evil.

So what they say is true, when you're closer to God, the more you need to pray..... Don't let down your guard.. coz "ITS" always awaiting for the moment when you let down your guard...

Or for the less religious, this could be just a freak incident.

Either way, I thank my Guardian Angel and the good Lord for giving me the wisdom to pull out my crucifix.

I wonder...

day after day
week after week
month after month
year after year...

Its a cycle that goes on and on.
U wake up, you go to there.. eventho' sometimes your heart just don't feel like doing it.
Your legs gets real heavy and as soon as you're there, your moods just dies.
Your day turns blue.
Gets worse when you have to talk to some arseholes. Who annoys you to pieces....

Recently i read two articles... each talks about how you can never be truely happy with the tang of sadness creeping in. coz thats part of life.. its a norm.

Hmmm....... and i read this in a religious news paper... hmmmmmmmmm
written by a priest............... hmmmmmmmmmm
hehehee
I AM NORMAL LEH!!!!!!!!!!
ITS NORMAL TO BE BLUE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
BLUEEEE MOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The End of a Chance

Have I thought about it since I made the decision about 2 years ago? Of course.

Sometimes my mind goes back and forth. Wondering if I have made the right decision.

Most of the times, these thoughts come about when I am facing tough times at work.

I guess its not so much of a regret but more of pondering.

But who knows someday a chance might come up again but maybe this time to a place that I really want to go to.. and would pack and go in just a blink of an eye.

The Quietness

There has been lack of updates.
Been figuring out what my life is all about. Yeah its that time again.
The time when I get pangs like this.. and I do some self wallowing.

Review is almost up and I am trying to figure out.. to stay or to go. Coz i can just predict the script will be read once more.. over again.

*wish me luck*

Rest In Peace - Dear Sarah

Today marks, 3 years, since the passing of my SIL - Sarah.

Her children are growing well with the love of Grandma and aunts and uncle. I pray to God that He will continue to shower his blessings on these two kids.

And I pray that my Brother will find his way back to God and not forget his children.

Rest in Peace - Sarah.

The end of 9 weeks

Yesterday was my final week of LSS. After successfully going for 9 weeks without skipping a single friday, its now the end of the road.

I would like to share how I feel after the 9 weeks. I have been blessed that was given the gift of tongues during the baptism of the holy spirit and for a couple of weeks on, my spirits were high.
As warned by my facilitator of my group, its now that the journey will begin to get tougher.

Indeed that was true. For the last 3 weeks of the LSS, I have been going throught spiritual dryness. I have to say, things got worse after i found out that my situation hasn't gotten any better at work.

It takes a lot of work to be close to God. The closer you are, the mr S.A TAN will try to lure you away. With great regret, I have to say this, for the past 3 weeks, Mr. TAN has won me over.

But I hope to gain momentum and strenght again to move forward.

So pray for me.
Currently in my mind, I just feel that God has abandon me. I have having thoughts that its better not be a believer as too much obstacles are placed infront of me, which sometimes I deem, too much and I am just tired.

Its a loop that never ends, like the world goes round and round, the issues just keep coming back hitting the fence and the shit hits back right at you.

Yeah!!! Award!!

Finally after being the company for 3 years, I have been given a recognition award....
Now, what should I spend it on. As part of the company's policy, you cannot keep the cash. they won't give you cash either so you would need to spend the amoutn given in the letter and then claim.

The amount is about RM700. So what shoudl i buy with it??? a Watch? tissot?
Well it can be more than one item....

Actually I have been down the whole week, after the merger life really stink.
and everyone is clamouring for glory and visibility, alot of power crazy Arse and biatch....

So any suggestions on what to do with the $$$$

anyone?

Hey anyone ever reads this blog anymore??

hmmmmmmmmmmm

drop me a comment.

oooo.. a compliment

I was away for a 2 day softskill training.

Its a very participative sort of training lah. If you don't say anytnng, u will also be forced to open your mouth.. hehehee

Today was the last day, and when i walked up to the instructor to hand over my evaluation form. She said to me, "MG, you have a flair for this"
I went, a flair for this? this?
She said, yes, analysis skills, problem solving skills, dealing with people. You should leverage on it...

and half the time in the course, we never discussed tech stuff.. muahahahhaaa...

WHOAAAAAA someone who recognize that I have some ability...

WOW
eehehe...
made my day ....

Resisting Temptation is HARD!!!

On Friday, I saw this pair of shoes that I have been eyeing on. It cost about 400+ and when the sales started, it was only going for 30% off. Then on Friday, during lunch hour, I took a walk to that section and saw that.. it was now going for 50%.

I liked the brown color... so I asked the sales person to get me my size. She went in, came out and informed me that there is no more size 7 in brown. But they still have the black in size 7...
I don't know what made me say, no i prefer the brown. And I walked off.

Then over the weekend, my mind keep floating back to that pair of shoes. I even thought of driving back there just to get the black ones.

Then today I decided, I would go during lunch.. AIYAH I forgot i will not in the office but will be somewhere else attending training but its close to office. So the whole day, i kept thinking... should i or shouldn't i. Do i need it... but I WANT it...

AIYOH what a dilemma.

Then I had to head back to the office eventho' my head was throbbing like mad. Then with great resistence.. I didn't walk to the shop to buy the pair of shoes.. YEAH!!!!!!
RESISTING WAS HARD!!!!!!! But I am glad I resisted.

kept telling myself, I don't need it.. i dont need it.

I believe I deserve a pat on my back muahhahahaa.

Its been a while

Bleeep...
been awhile.....
alot has happened

changes at work, merger, now I have TL... some !*@&#!*@ but what to do, can't do anything about it... just be a idiota and work ....

Praying hard for some peace within......

What Season of Woman Are You

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart

What Season Woman Are You?

How appropriate!!!! I love Fall...... I don't like the end of Fall but the beginning of fall is so pretty... oh I so miss it!

Mood Swings

I have started a mood swing label. This is to gauge how much my mood swings.. muahahahahaa.

Anyways... I don't know for whatever reasons... I felt happy yesterday. Like cherry chirpy happy.
Its Friday - so that maybe a reason why. But its really funny, I don't feel a tinge of worry. Eventho my trip to down south for my project is in dits and my travel plans had to be changed many times much to dismay of the travel agent. hahahahaa. I have to email her again to tell her i need to change the flight time once again.

But I was happy.

I attended LSS that nite. This is to go on for another 6 fridays or so. I was upset with a friend but still... i felt like there is some lightness inside me. Its a good feeling... really.

Well I thought it was PMS, as I am having my best friend ... but i doubt it. usually with PMS its the negative side of emotions.

SO hmm.. I am wondering how long this happy feeling of light giddiness is gonna last. :P

Cheerio....

Harry P and price war

We all know that the last book on Harry P is released today. Since months ago, some big book stores have been having the pre-order thingy. And the promotion was immense.
Alas, all went down the drain due to the price war. 2Hyper markets decided to sell the book at a much cheaper price. I was going for RM109 at normal book stores but these hyper M decided to sell it as RM69.90.

Thos big players decided to make a strong statement and 4 of the big kahunas decided to Boycott. Meaning , the book is only available today at their book stores and from tomorrow onwards they will ceased to be available at these 4 major book outlets. But pre-ordered copies can still be collected. Hmmm...

Read all about it here

Funny way of retaliation rite? I would think the copies at the hyperM are limited, hence poeple will still buy from retailers. So why punish the readers becoz of this price war.

MUAHAHAHA i got mine at RM69.90 but seriously if i got there and it was no longer available, i would still buy at the normal price and most big book stores were giving like 10-20% discount. It won't be at the HyperM's price but ... still it will be slightly cheaper.

Also all planned events related to HP will be cancelled as of Today.. Dang. those kids will be disappointed.

But I am happy Camper :P

Saturday.....

Yesterday after having done with my presentation, I was so happy. I thought I did a good job eventho' some of the feedback was information overload. But others said they found it to go be good.

After week of terrible headache and anxiety, I chose to sleep early and then wake up to clean the house. But I couldn't wake up early enough to sweep and mop the whole place up. As I have to be at Mid for Harry Porter by 11am. Hence I decided to skip that and instead of going home straight to my hometown after the movie, I will go back to the apt and do some housework.

Harry Porter was alright, not as boring as I thought it would have been after listening to ppl's view on the movie and such. Still bareable. I didn't book the last book in advance tho'. I thought I would just stop by the book shop and get em since I don't want to line up to get the freebie which is like what? First come first serve basis. No thanks lah.

The mall was bloody packed. people were driving around like crazy when I was walking to my car in the car park. Few even trail me... hahaha but of no sucess as my car was parked way at the other side... the new parking side. One manic drove against traffic just to trail me to my car.. and one lady screen down to ask me where is my car.. hahaha. My Goodness... i thought with the extra car park in the J area, there would be more than enough but as we know our people and shopping malls... any amount of parking space would never ever be enough. I can't imagine when The Gardens opens up. Traffic would be worse. But i heard this new mall would have I- the setan lah... and robinsons.. hehehe.

Yeah yeah I ain't go to life.... Shopping mall is my life kiddin.gggg

I went back after having grabbed a bite after the movie. Was tired by then.. beating traffic and all. I managed to mop the hall, etc. Will continue the chore on monday.. washing the washarea and the bath rooms.. bLEAAAH.. living alone is like that loh.. Everything you pow kah liao.

Transformers...

OOOO watche transformers today....
My colleague was nice enough to book it online. I went to collect the tics during lunch. Thank Goodness we booked online.. if i were to lined up to buy the tics probably i would never get them.

the show was GOOOOODDDDDDDDD........

I recommend watching.
No cute guys.. just cute autobots. hehehee.

Good Stress reliever.

I have a presentation this Friday... wish me luck.

Lunch Today

This morning, I had 2 half boil eggs for breakfast and a slice of bread.
Then i when I got 2 work, I just continued working. At around 11am, my stomach started growling but i just decided to take it all in until lunch time.

At 11.45, I headed out and went to the food court. Since i was hungry, I decided, I felt like having curry mee today.

I ate the curry mee happily and then when i got back to my office, I felt totally sick. Wanted to puke my guts out.

Till now, I feel unwell..... It must be the oiliness... that i can't take anymore.

Should have just gone with the sandwich for something.

But of late that is what has been happenning to me. I feel hungry.. then when i was time to eat, I can't really eat.. or I eat then feel totally.. like wanting to throw up.

I guess the stomach problem is back...

At work today, I was home alone until my boss got in after lunch. 2 col away overseas for project. 2 on leave. But I didn't get much done coz i was such a sluggish monday....

Glooooommmmyyyy..

Fears - Faith

I subscribe to Fr Philip Heng's messages. So daily I receive this quotes especially its inline with what the readings are for the day. Today I saw this in my mail box

Ord. Wk 13th: Wednesday 4th July, 2007 (Mt 8:28-34)

Fears – Faith: In today’s Gospel, Jesus expelled demons that were causing
much harm and fear to the people. What do you fear most in your life? Could it
be the fear of demons, illness etc? The Lord’s Spirit can dispel all your fears,
but you must learn to trust Him at all times. Ponder on how you can do this.

Fr Philip Heng, S.J.

Its pretty profund huh. So what do i fear most in life.

What I fear most when I was still in High school but managed to win over it during college and excel but it seems its back to haunt me now....

But I must learn to trust him at all times..... how? thats something I have to really ponder.

My fear - is one that has been affecting my life for a long time. But I am not going to write about it. Some time i think , people tend to take it upon themselves that they know whats going on and that they are the smart ones with advises and their sarcasms in their tone (in their mind the good intention of helping you)... Really??? Maybe so....
But I can say this, no one can truely understand what you go thru. Coz they never lived your life never experienced what you go thru in life. Hence they could never ever truely comprehend until they walk that path. I can say this, coz it was thru experience a friend found this out. How? he used to berate me.... and then one day he walked that path.. it was so excruciating that he actually told me face to face, i understand now what you go through and I am sorry for saying all those things to you coz now i know what kind of hell you went through. It was so bad that he now understand why sometimes I don't feel like waking up.

I am not saying that one shouldn't help another. Of course as a friend you should always provide your advice your perspective as from an outsiders view, as it may be clearer. But don't ever ever sit on your high horse and assume you know every DAMN thing a person goes through. Thats why sometimes it better to have empathy. don't just rush into giving advice or try to relate it to how you have done things before , etc. Remember every individual is diff.. hence the uniqueness in each one. No Two person is ever the same, they can be alike but never ever the same.

Sometimes people just like to say things coz they have to let it out to avoid going insane.

I like what this lady has written about in her blog.
http://harajukucat.wordpress.com/2007/06/14/life-of-stress/
This point i like :
3. Go home and talk about your day with your partner/family /friend and if you live alone call someone up!

Thats what sometimes people just like to do, rant once in a while. Give them the chance and lend a ear and don't be too judgemental.